Rating the Great in the Crate.

Mississippi John Hurt - Today! (1966)

rayvayderies — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 10:00:00 -0400

Mississippi John Hurt

“Today!”

Released: 1966

Genre: Blues

Score: 10 Mississippi’s

“America, meet your kindly black grandfather”

One thing you should know about Mississippi John Hurt, he is lazy. From 1929 through 1963 he did not release any new material, reveling in the excess lifestyle that being a rock star can provide. Trashed hotel rooms, fast women, driving cars into swimming pools are but a few of the tales of debauchery that are associated with Mr. Hurt during his heyday. In the early 60’s, that money ran out and Hurt was forced to go back into the recording studio to make some quick cash. He would hastily record a few albums strictly for the money, “Today” being the best of the bunch. This would afford him to get back to his nefarious ways of women, drink and drugs.

Fun Fact: Mississippi John Hurt lived a very destructive lifestyle. Besides the abuse he put his own body through, one of Hurt’s more infamous calling cards was to flush powerful explosives down the toilets of the hotels he was staying in. It has been estimated that his destruction of toilets and plumbing cost as much as $500,000.

Lyrical Snippet: Don’t stand close to the candy man; He’ll leave a big candy stick in your hand (The rest of the lyrics to this song are even more disgusting.)

Standout Tracks: Pay Day; Candy Man; Corrina, Corrina; Coffee Blues; Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight; Spike Driver Blues

Billy Joel - The Stranger (1977)

rayvayderies — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 08:05:00 -0400

Billy Joel

“The Stranger”

Released: 1977

Genre: Pop/Rock

Score: Like a bad Elton John record.

“It’s a sexual revolution.”

Screw “doin’ the twist” or “the Hustle”, Billy Joel wanted to go beyond the instructional dance song and introduce the first instructional self gratification song in musical history. After a protracted tug of war with label executives, he was allowed to release “The Stranger” and the results were explosive. There was a public backlash from different conservative groups who opposed the subject matter and left quite a mess on Joel’s hands, but he was able to beat it off and persevere.

Fun Fact: A notorious alcoholic and drunk driver, there is a ten percent chance he will drive his car through your house at some point if you live on Long Island.

Lyrical Snippet: “Lock the door and sit on your hand, til’ you can’t feel it no more, then take a seat and grab your meat and beat it til you can’t beat it no more.”

Standout Tracks: C’mon, it’s a Billy Joel album.

Coldplay - A Rush of Blood to the Head (2002)

rayvayderies — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 15:25:00 -0400

Diet Radiohead Lite

“A Rush of Blood to the Head”

Genre: Vagina Rock

Released: 2002

Score: The opposite of good.

“If only it were an aneurysm.”

Upon hearing Parachute’s initial offering “Yellow” we knew we had a monster on our hands. The docile and insipid tones of Coldplay was to be something that was going to be around for a long, excruciating time. Reports indicated that lead singer Chris Martin was lyrically bankrupt after their first world tour and there were thoughts inside the industry that Coldplay would be a one album and done band. Unfortunately it was not to be. While being right about the lyrics thing, Coldplay would go to record 4 more identical studio albums including this coma inducing masterpiece.

Fun Fact: Coldplay has won an amazing four MTV music awards, which means absolutely nothing.

Quotable: “You know how I know you’re gay? You listen to Coldplay.”

Standout Tracks: Just close your eyes and take your pick, they are pretty much all the same.

Frank Zappa - Hot Rats (1969)

rayvayderies — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 16:05:00 -0400

Frank Zappa

“Hot Rats”

Genre: Jazz/Rock

Released: 1969

Score: He considered a movie for the ears, so yes it is a score.

“An example of an album made in 1969”

After breaking up his band the Mothers of Invention, Frank Zappa would go into the studio in August of ‘69 and emerge a month later with Hot Rats in the can. An intriguing menagerie of Jazz, Blues, Rock and everything in between, Hot Rats kicks off with the iconic Peaches en Regalia and does not relent for 47 inspired minutes. Showing off an unbelievable talent for composition, this would also mark the beginning of Zappa creating music for musicians at the top of their respective field and what a great set of musicians he had on this recording. Captain Beefheart, Jean-Luc Ponty, Shuggie Otis, Max Bennett and Lowell George just to name a few. If you are a fan of Zappa’s absurdist lyrics, this might not be for you as only the second track “Willie the Pimp” features any vocals, performed by the aforementioned Captain Beefheart. Hot Rats is a marvel for its day, and shows how far ahead in the game Zappa was in relation to his contemporaries.

Fun Fact: One of the first albums produced on a 16 track recorder. This allowed greater flexibility in over-dubbing and multi tracking as compared to the standard 8 track recorder which was the standard at the time in 1969.

Lyrical Snippet: “Got a little lady…walk the street, Tellin’ all the boys that she can’t be beat, Twenny dollah bill (I can set you straight)”

Standout Tracks: Peaches en Regalia; Willie the Pimp; Son of Mr. Green Genes; The Gumbo Variations

Al Green - Explores Your Mind (1974)

rayvayderies — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 21:35:00 -0400

Dr. Al Green

“Explores Your Mind”

Genre: R&B

Released: 1974

Score: He’s Al Green, he did, and often.

“Don’t let the smile fool you, he doesn’t like what he sees.”

The catalyst for thousands of babies being conceived since his career started, Al Green’s eighth effort is when he successfully fused his love of soul music with neurology. Unknown to most of his ardent fans, while he wasn’t recording or touring, Green was actively pursuing his doctorate in Neurosurgery. This nine track; 30 minute set kicks off with Sha-La-La (Make Me Happy), an ode to the Nucleus Accumbens and works it’s way from there all the way down to the Medulla oblongata with nary a misstep. Now commonly used in most major medical universities, Al Green’s Explores Your Mind is the sexiest example of the study of the brain since Harvey Williams Cushing made panties drop at the turn of the 19th century.

Fun Fact: After refusing to marry his then girlfriend Mary Woodsen White, she doused him with boiling hot grits while he was in the shower. The second part of this story isn’t as fun, but it does involve the brain. Symmetry!

Lyrical Snippet: ” ‘Coz my baby loves a one nite stand, So does all the fellows in the band, alright.”

Standout Tracks: Sha-La-La (Make Me Happy); Take Me to the River; One Nite Stand; Stay with Me Forever; School Days

The Kinks - Muswell Hillbillies (1971)

rayvayderies — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 20:08:00 -0400

The Kinks

“Muswell Hillbilles”

Genre: Rock

Released: 1971

Score: 50 stars

“We’re not referencing Lord of the Rings, Everyone’s going to hate this.”

The band that is often remembered for doing the right thing at the wrong time is at it again on 1971’s Muswell Hillbillies. Nuclear warfare, diet fads, mental fragility, and the preposterousness of modern life are all topics broached that are still as relevant today as they were back in ‘71. The Kinks, regarded as the most British of the British bands of the English Invasion decided to take their unique take on English life and filter it though the prism of early 20th century american roots music. The results are inspiring, the sales were not. Like most of the Kinks work, it has been embraced more fondly in modern times and for good reason. It’s intelligent, challenging, witty, paranoid and most importantly it transcends generations due to it being grounded in theme’s that any person could relate to. This is the zenith of Ray Davies and company’s recording career.

Fun Fact: An early incarnation of the Kinks called the Ray Davies Quartet, featured Rod Stewart as lead singer. They really dodged a bullet there.

Lyrical Snippet: ”All life we work but work is a bore, If life’s for livin’ what’s livin’ for?”

Standout Tracks: 20th Century Man, Holiday, Complicated Life, Here Come the People in Grey, Holloway Jail. Oklahoma U.S.A., Muswell Hillbilly

Mr. Mister - Welcome to the Real World (1985)

rayvayderies — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 01:16:00 -0400

Mr. Mister

“Welcome to the Real World”

Genre:Pop Crap

Released: 1985

Score: Album of the Decade

“The softer-rocking Toto”

America’s leading scientists had been working on a solution to Sting and “The Police” for years. Our first attempt, “Project Bryan Adams” was an unmitigated disaster and was quickly pawned off to Canada, where he would thrive and continue to haunt the U.S. and the rest of the world for decades.

Obviously, America’s second attempt had the desired effect. Test subject “Richard Page” was a much more successful endeavor. Concocted in a top secret research laboratory, Page was “born” in Iowa much like Superman was “born” in Kansas. He was genetically programmed to play the bass and form a band that would eventually topple the musical empire that was “The Police”. Two #1 singles (Broken Wings, Kyrie) and a chart topping album later, “The Police” disbanded and Mr. Mister were well on their way to becoming the biggest band in the world. Mission Accomplished.

Fun Fact: Richard Page was asked to become the lead singer of both Chicago and Toto. Page declined, knowing full well what his destiny was.

Lyrical Snippet: The wind blows hard against this mountain side, Across the sea into my soul, It reaches into where I cannot hide, Setting my feet upon the road.

Standout Tracks: Honestly, none.

Skip Spence - Oar (1969)

rayvayderies — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 00:12:00 -0400

Alexander “Skip” Spence

“Oar”

Genre: Folk/Rock

Released: 1969

Score: It’s Good.

“You wanna get nuts? Lets get nuts!”

A member of Quiksilver Messenger Service, Jefferson Airplane and co-founder of Moby Grape, Skip Spence’s fingerprints are all over the psychedelic sound of 1960’s San Francisco. Strangely, while most of these bands remain in the public consciousness, Skip has seemed to fade into obscurity. Recorded in eight frantic days in Memphis, “Oar” would be Spence’s first and only solo effort. He would spend the majority of his life living on the streets of Santa Cruz, California and his contributions to music have largely been relegated to the dustbin of musical history. Frankly, it’s a shame because “Oar” is the high water mark of the schizophrenic singer/songwriter genre. No offense Neil Diamond.

Fun Fact: Before recording “Oar”, Spence spent six months in Bellevue Hospital after attempting to kill two fellow Moby Grape band members with a fire axe after ingesting LSD.

Lyrical Snippet: A cripple on his deathbed, In a daydream did ride, All past the streams of fire, On a petal path did glide.

Standout Tracks: Little Hands, Cripple Creek, Diana, Weighted Down (The Prison Song), Books of Moses, Lawrence of Euphoria

Little Feat - Little Feat (1971)

rayvayderies — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 19:17:00 -0400

Little Feat

“Little Feat”

Genre: Rock

Released: 1971

Bristol Stool Chart - Type 3 (Like a sausage but with cracks on the surface)

“Rex Ryan’s favorite band.”

This band might have gotten extremely lame in subsequent releases but this opening effort is a fantastic debut in the genre of Rock Americana. Touching on rock, blues, jazz and a certain Je ne sais quoi that can be attributed to going to the Frank Zappa school of music, Lowell George and company smashed a grand slam in their first at-bat. Sadly, the band would become more of a singles hitter as they moved from this loose sound for a more stylized dixie shuffle in future albums. Also, Lowell George would go on to become incredibly fat. Not sure, but I think he died from fatness. Sorry to get all medical on you.

Fun Fact: Frank Zappa fired Lowell from the Mothers of Invention because he wrote a song about drugs, which has absolutely no place in Rock n’ Roll.

Lyrical Snippet: ”I ain’t made sense in so long - I almost quit trying.”

Standout Tracks: Snakes on Everything; Strawberry Flats; Willin’; Forty-Four Blues/How Many More Years; Takin’ My Time; Crazy Captain Gunboat Willie

Woody Guthrie - Dust Bowl Ballads (1940)

rayvayderies — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 18:46:00 -0400

Woody Guthrie

“Dust Bowl Ballads”

Genre: Folk

Released: 1940

Score: 5-4 F/OT

“Just found out how much money Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan would make.”

Dust is annoying. A lot of dust is apparently really annoying. Woody Guthrie had the time back in 1940 to go into a studio and whine about it a lil’ bit. Thanks to fantastic ditties like: Talking Dust Bowl Blues, Dust Bowl Blues, Dust Bowl Refugee, Dust Cain’t Kill Me and Dust Pneumonia Blues, we are reminded that people from back then lacked the toughness that us modern Americans possess in spades. A lil’ bit of dirt blowing about was enough to send an entire nation into a depression (See Mass Hysteria).Getting back to Woody, thanks to a Jewish kid from Minnesota a whole bunch of people in the late 50’s and 60’s either pretended to listen to him or purported to cite him as an influence. Pete Seeger would go on to perform many of Woody’s songs for future generations until he succumbed to complications due to recording with Bruce Springsteen.

Fun Fact: Before Julian Lennon, there was Arlo Guthrie.

Lyrical Snippet: ”Yes, as through this world I’ve wandered, I’ve seen lots of funny men; Some will rob you with a six-gun, And some with a fountain pen.”

Standout Tracks: Talking Dust Bowl Blues; Pretty Boy Floyd; Tom Joad, Pt 1; Tom Joad, Pt 2; Do Re Mi; Dust Bowl Refugee; I Ain’t Got No Home; Vigilante Man

Manassas - Manassas (1972)

rayvayderies — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 18:09:00 -0400

Stephen Stills’ Manassas

Manassas

Genre: Rock

Released: 1972

Quarterback Rating: 99.2 out of 158.3

“The guy on the far left died in the opening 15 minutes.”

After missing out on being a part of the Monkees, who’d go on to shape the music, fashion and culture of the 60’s and beyond, Stephen Stills was at a crossroads in his career. His first two bands came and went with little to no success (Buffalo Springfield, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young). Stills knew this was his last chance to make it in music or he’d probably have to move home and take over the family business, Stills Sausage Emporium. Charcuterie’s loss was our collective gain because according to people who have heard this record, this sprawling two disc set is really good.

Celebrity Quote: “I was around man asses a lot in the 70’s. I LOVED THEM! Well rounded, tight and firm, I was really into them.” - Charles Nelson Reilly

Lyrical Snippet: “Everybody gonna need a place to hide, Yes the love gangster gonna make you cry, you need a place to hide”

Standout Tracks: Medley: Rock & Roll Crazies - Cuban Bluegrass, So Begins the Task, It Doesn’t Matter, Johnny’s Garden, The Love Gangster

Wilson Pickett - Hey Jude (1969)

rayvayderies — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 00:46:00 -0400

Wilson Pickett

“Hey Jude”

Genre: R&B

Released: 1969

Score: B+ out of 100

“Supremely Confident no one has written Hey Jude yet.”

The stage was set. The lyrics? Stirring. The time? Perfect. This was the belief of the “Wicked One” Wilson Picket in 1969. The album along with the title track were to be his magnum opus to bestow upon the world. There was one small problem. Four Scousers recorded and released that same song the year before. It may be that exact reason that this album didn’t become the cultural touchstone he envisioned it could be. I personally don’t know because I didn’t put a lot of research into this.

Fun Fact: Pickett on growing up: “I get scared of her [Mother] now. She used to hit me with anything, skillets, stove wood — (one time I ran away and) cried for a week. Stayed in the woods, me and my little dog.”

Lyrical Snippet: “Ahhhhhh, Ohhhh, baby, OW! Good God!”

Standout Tracks: Save Me, Hey Jude, Toe Hold, A Man and a Half, Back In Your Arms, Night Owl, People Make the World.